By MU standards, 'Love Your Body Week' was a complete success. Our panel of experts has determined that by complete success, MU means at least 20% of the school population knew what was going on sometime before it was over, and somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-4% actually participated in something. Popular events included the 'Freezin' For A Reason' Swing-A-Thon (where one unfortunate Cobeen resident actually became trapped in a block of ice) and the Health Hut, which offered tips on way-too-expensive-for-a-college-kids-budget-but-yes-indeed-healthy foods.
Now our very own Rec Center has caught on and offered students the chance of a lifetime. So don't eat too much ham on Easter, or do, because when you get back you're invited to come to the Rec and officially Hate Your Body. The Rec center is basically funded by a small group of members but largely a University allocation that only comes around because people hate how they look and want to go do something to change it. Whether that be losing the freshman 15, getting jacked, or improving your terrible basketball jumper, students have been going to the Rec to look better for years and now the Rec is giving back and trying to help you out.
We've gotten a sneak peek at the event and from what I can see, it looks great. The week starts off on Tuesday and looks a little something like this:
Tuesday April 14 - Hate Your Body More Than Opus Dei - Just in time for the end of Holy Week and before the arrival of 'Angels and Demons' to theaters, come torture yourself during an intense aerobics and kickboxing workout to the tunes of various Christian metal bands. Praise Jesus. Hate Your Body. Look better.
Wednesday April 15 - Haterade - Lecture on the importance of hydration with something other than beer during a very intense workout. However, beer will be provided, but will you drink it? Do you want that beer belly? The pressure is on.
Thursday April 16 - The Rec Center Hates On YOU - Sign up now for the chance to run laps around the Valley Fields track while Rec Center employees drive around in golf carts and yell terrible things about your appearance at you. This will only motivate you to run harder.
Friday April 17 - Dining Hall Protest - Now that you've worked out, start eating right by taking a greasy cheeseburger from the dining halls and throwing it off Wisconsin Avenue bridge. Bonus points if it sticks to a windshield of a car on the freeway. Then eat a salad.
Saturday April 18 - 5k run - Because what event doesn't have a 5k? C'mon? And we ran out of ideas...
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