Although there have been previous notable pedestrian/ car collisions on Wells St. in the past, Milwaukee's Department of Public Works has recently been unsatisfied with the road's injury/death rates around Marquette University. Upon questioning, a head DPW official had this to say, "Well, we didn't really feel that Wells Street was really all that hard to cross before. There were white lines, three lanes for easy traffic flow, and a lack of trees that allowed for a clear view of the road." Apparently, despite lack of funding and huge debt across the state, Milwaukee managed to push the median through legislation barriers, enabling all students who live North of Marquette Campus to partake in a Froger-esque game of dodge-the-car that the DPW staff has joking named "Hurdle the Median Whilst Trying to Maintain Cat-like agility and Olympia-runner Speed While Also Avoiding Oncoming Traffic." Well, we here at the B&Y prefer to call that survival of the fittest. If you've ever felt unsafe before the median was installed, then you better keep your eyes peeled, your senses sharp, and your running shoes handy, because a simple trip across Wells could end up as... well... you better just focus on maintaining maximum velocity.
Maybe you should just forget about going to class...
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