Everything was going smoothly for everyone's favorite holiday rabbit, the Easter Bunny. As of 12:00 last night he was spotted carefully hiding candy and eggs in preparation for Easter. After a night's worth of work, ending with his favorite city, Milwaukee, the Easter Bunny planned to hit a couple of his favorite local bars for a few pints and some relaxation. Things quickly escalated from there.
The holiday rabbit was quickly thrown out of his first stop, Tequila Rita's, after a crew of racist Marquette Alumni realized the rabbit's ethnicity. He was also accused of stealing. Stumbling down the street, smelling of Jack Daniel's and tired from the long hours, the Bunny was heckled by passers by. As he searched for the closest bar, the EBunny managed to pick a fight with a large truck driver named Julia who also happened to be a war vet from 'Nam.
After 3 am, eye witnesses report spotting a giant white rabbit floating down the Milwaukee river.
When the rabbit finally came to and pulled himself from the river's depths, dawn was approaching. Struggling to stop the bleeding and longing to find his SUV, the rabbit tripped and skinned his right knee. He finally made it to his truck, wet, bruised, bloody, and sober. As the sun rose, the rabbit quickly discovered that thieves had conveniently shattered his passenger window and removed his Bose sound system. He had also been issued a parking citation. The Easter Bunny was last reported shouting "F@#$ This!" and speeding off into the morning distance. Hope he gets that window fixed soon.
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