Geico Caveman Found Dead in Hotel Room

Tragedy strikes Hollywood once again as Geico Caveman (name unintelligible) was found dead in his Los Angeles hotel room early this morning. Eye witnesses report spotting the 65 million year old caveman at several local clubs last night, drinking and socializing as usual. It has to be noted, however, that as the night drew to a close the famous actor became disorderly, throwing a spear and a burning torch at bartenders. After the man was ejected from his favorite bar, local police witnessed the intoxicated caveman harassing a gay couple with cave drawings and kicking a young cockerspaniel. After tailing the suspect for a couple of blocks, police claim that they saw the man flash a gun at an elderly woman and swallow a handful of pills. (However, after stopping for coffee the LA law officers were unable to locate the drug-riddled celebrity and promptly returned home.)

It is believed that the Geico spokesman slowly stumbled home, yelling at trees and drinking from dirty puddles of water before making it back to his hotel room. Around 3 am, it is reported that security was called after he attempted to seduce a room-service waiter. The waiter is not currently taking phone calls.

Cause of death has yet to be determined, but police have reported finding large amounts of crack, pepto bismal and marijuana on the caveman. The FBI had also been actively investigating the cave-american actor for tax-evasion. Although the family of the actor could not be reached for comment, due to the fact that they have been frozen in glaciers for tens of millions of years, one thing is certain: we will surely miss our favorite shaggy, sometimes senseless insurance company representative.

A prayer service is to be hosted later this week by the Geico Geko and the Afleck Duck.
Geico Caveman, you shall be missed.