Avid Reality TV Fan Brett Favre Admits To Messing With The Media For His Own Entertainment

Wolverine isn't the only guy with an adimantium skeleton making some noise this summer. As you know by now, the annual decision making media circus on the status of Brett Favre's playing career is well under way. Save the details, you could basically say the gunslinger has been taking advice from John Kerry and having his breakfasts at the local Waffle House.

"Oh, am I going to retire? Yeah, probably about time to hang 'em up. But really, I could play, maybe I'll come back. Yeah! I'll come back! But then again, no, I probably shouldn't come back. But maybe I'll leave the door open a crack, or maybe all the way. Who knows," said a grinning Brett Favre in the basement of his Mississippi home.

Sure, reporters always ask that same question about retirement, yes or no, and they get a variety of answers depending upon the day. But the more important question asked to Favre that never had been asked to him before is "Why?". Well, that answer is more simple than you would think. Two words: Reality Television.

Had Brett Favre not been in the NFL and if the show was still semi-relevant, Favre admits he would have been a contestant on Survivor. Favre also was a huge fan of The Mole, The Amazing Race, American Chopper, The Real Gilligan's Island, Temptation Island, The Contender, and even Little People Big World to name a few. Favre never passed up the opportunity to catch a reality show and he said the thrill of the human experience always kept him captivated.

Citing a lack of quality reality TV beginning with a decline around late 2005, early 2006, Favre said he's had to get a little creative to get his reality TV fix. While some of the more popular shows keep churning out the same, overdone, watered down productions they've used in the past, others are completely wrong and think they can improve with an influx of Bret Michaels appearances. Favre admits watching reporters stumble around and attempt to cover what he's doing is, "Pretty damn entertaining." He says he can say something to the local newspaper in Mississippi and a couple hours later they are running around at ESPN like people in a Japanese disaster movie. "Hell, they might even make a story if I go decide to ride a tractor. Or if I'm throwing the ball around in the yard they'll say 'football legend practicing for comeback', its hilarious." Favre also admitted, "Any time you have the opportunity to do something just because you can, you should do it, like me messing with the media, just because I can."

Meanwhile at ESPN Headquarters, Bristol, CT:

"My God! Favre is coming back! What do we do? Ahhhh!"
"No he's not coming back, we were all wrong!"
"Ahhhh, if he's not coming back why did he send x-rays to the Vikings?"
"We're all gonna die!!!!"

One member of the media in particular does not appreciate Favre playing these games. Broadcaster John Madden retired this offseason on the anticipation that Favre would be gone. "The game of football will not be the same without Brett Favre, therefore I must resign from my Sunday Night Football post and drive the Maddencruiser around the country, eating multiple turduckens per day for all eternity. Brett Favre," said Madden upon retiring.

"Its not fair that he gets to go around and play all these games with people's hearts like that," added an emotional Madden, speaking in a press conference at the Pro Football Hall of Fame (right), "You know, the guy who throws the football into the endzone best is going to be the best quarterback, so Brett Favre is the best quarterback because he throws the ball into the endzone the best. That's why he should always come back. Because I, I mean, we Americans love to see Brett Favre play the game of football. But there's no reason he should trick us. If he un-retires again, then people like me are going to un-retire, and so on. It makes things kind of difficult. Brett Favre."

If Madden were to un-retire as well, his options are limited. He could save us from the mute button waiting to happen that is Chris Collinsworth at his old position on SNF, or he could choose another route and be the color man for Vikings broadcasts, potentially allowing him to spend 16 whole games with Favre (assuming Favre eventually un-retires and signs with Minnesota.) Whatever happens, we are sure it will be complete chaos and nothing less than spectacular. So here's to you Brett Favre, way to stick it to the media and give yourself a free source of good old American reality television.