Student Writes "BRB" On Car To Avoid Parking Ticket, Cops Respond With Ticket Saying "WTF?!?"

Late Friday afternoon, Sheila Anderson came back from working a short shift downtown at Pick-And-Save and parked her 1987 Chrysler LeBaron in front of her residence at 855 N. 15th Street. Fully aware that the 800 block of 15th street is designated as a 2 hour parking zone, Sheila thought she could outsmart Milwaukee Parking Enforcement by scribbling “BRB” on a crumpled up sheet of paper and then taping it to her driver's side window.

“I was tired, I really didn’t feel like parking north of State Street. Not only is it totally sketch, but it takes too much time to walk that extra block, especially when you’ve been on your feet at work.”

We at the blue and YELLOW agree, walking one block officially sucks. Our condolences go out to the folks in Mashuda Hall, may your treks to campus be filled with happy thoughts to keep your mind off all that stress the hike creates.

Despite our agreements and condolences, Milwaukee Parking Enforcement does not feel the same way. An anonymous MPE spokesman had this to say, “We don’t agree with your stance, but we will fight to the death for your right to have that stance. Wait a minute, no we won’t. You’re on your own.”

MPE officially began to pursue action when the officer on duty realized Anderson’s LeBaron was parked in the same spot for 2 hours and 1.5 minutes. Quickly, the officer inspected the vehicle and noticed the “BRB” sign. He then took the “BRB” sign off of the car and quickly wrote a parking ticket that said “WTF?!?”

Anderson noticed the ticket on Friday night after coming back from an intense night of boozing at Murphy’s. Anderson took the ticket, ripped it into shreds, threw the shreds into the air and tried to kick them on their way down in a drunken rage. Despite breaking the city’s parking laws, Anderson thought the BRB was enough to justify her wrongdoing because she would have eventually been right back to move the car.

The next morning an enraged Anderson sent an angry voicemail to City Hall. Mayor Tom Barrett decided not to red flag this angry message with the Department of Homeland Security and when asked to comment on the message he replied with simply, “LOL!” Barrett decided to then hold a press conference announcing he was officially raising the parking fines to increase city revenue.

Sounding suspicious, I was able to sneak away from the press conference and broke into Mayor Barrett’s office. (I stole a security pass from an intern and then placed a piece of tape over the lock of the door earlier that day.) After a bit of snooping, I found Barrett’s plan to secretly funnel the parking violation revenues into a fund that will go towards building a gold throne. This mayoral throne will be placed above the clock in the top of City Hall’s south tower, where Barrett can look over his domain. After sifting though other boring accounting spreadsheets detailing corrupt money transfers, I finally found the schematics of the plan. A bootleg Microsoft paint drawing of Barrett wearing a gold crown, sitting on his gold throne, and holding a golden sword brought laughter to my heart and tears to my eyes.



I thought to myself, no wonder they write so many parking tickets these days. However, I decided against telling the rest of the press of Barrett’s plans. Mainly because I think it’s a freakin sweet idea and those “uptight press-types” would try to stop him from doing this. Basically just don’t park illegally anymore and you’ll be fine.